Back on the Waggon

I've been off my game with fasting for a couple of weeks.

I had fallen into the trap of thinking, 'argh, this is soooo easy' when actually, it's not!  I don't think it's 'meant' to be easy to go 36 hours without proper food so instead of being sensible I turned to complacency which meant snacking and not playing by the rules!

Luckily I don't seem to have put weight on, (as of last Wednesday) but I certainly haven't lost anymore.
It's OK - I know why which means I can sort it out.

We went to a gig last night for the first time in YEARS and it was FANTASTIC but the seats were tiny and I felt like a total frump dressed in my hand made top and my washed out trousers.  It's time for a change.  The children are old enough to be left with a babysitter now, (if anyone's ever stupid enough to say 'yes' when we ask - it was my dad last night!!!!) and I'd like to go out with my husband but not when I feel as crappy about myself as I do right now.  It will change, I know it will.  Just the process of losing weight is a confidence booster - dropping the stones and dropping the clothes sizes is a bonus to dropping the crappy mental attitude that goes with low self confidence.

Gotta pull my mind inside for a good talking to and jump back on the wagon without further a do.

So...  today is a fast day and I'm looking forward to the challenge, which is nice.

Wish me luck!

Once I feel a bit more confident I'll start taking photographs.

The Road is Long

Yes, the road is long, but I'm getting there!  I have no idea how many fasts I've done so far I just know that I'm still doing them which is a huge bonus considering my usual diet fatigue!!!!

I've lost 19lbs so far and I feel SO MUCH BETTER!  It's just unreal.  I've struggled with the last two fasts mind you but I feel a bit more positive this morning.

I think I've struggled because I didn't lose any weight last week.  I know why I didn't lose weight - I had a serious 4 day binge which made me put four pounds on.  So, actually, YES, I DID lose weight it's just after two fast days my weight was the same as it was the week before as I had put on 4lbs then LOST lbs!!!!!!

I fasted yesterday and it was OK but I was REALLY fed up by about 4.30 so I had my usual - two boiled eggs and some Ryvita.

In my mind I'll be fasting on either Tuesday or Wednesday and Saturday next week, but we'll see.

Fast Number.... I've lost count, but maybe 7?

We went away at the weekend.  We were staying in a pod at Hoddam Castle and it was FAB.  I was very relaxed about food.  I ate chocolate, curry, mini scotch eggs and even a Macky Ds sausage and egg McMuffin, (horrible, never again - so greasy and awful!  urgh - I didn't finish it!).
I fasted on Monday just to try and negate some of the damage done on Sat and Sun and it has done the trick as I'm a pound lighter than I was before we went!!!

Today is another fast day.  Like I've said before, I tend not to plan them, however, Thursday and Saturdays are working out as pretty good days because I work all day Sat and work on a Thursday evening.  We usually have things planned for the kids on a Thursday too which takes my mind off food but not so much today apart from our twice weekly dog walk with friends.

Our little dog has made a huge impact on our lives.  If I could find the tape measure I'd measure my waist to see the good all the walking's doing but I've no idea where it's at, (not much good for a seamstress, eh!).

I won't 'officially' weigh myself again until next Thursday but so far, 16 lbs down.

I've only weighed myself three times which equates to two weeks and in that two weeks I've dropped 7 lbs.

Happy fasting!

I still enjoy coffee with milk and sugar on fast days.  I'm VERY overweight so I have the 'luxury' if you like of being able to take in more calories and still lose weight.  I know this will change as my calorie needs change, but I'm not in any mad hurry.  I do want to be slim and I do want to be healthy but I want to do it in a way that doesn't make me run for the chocolate...  5 - 2 has given me nothing but positives so far.  I even slept well after the last fast and wasn't famished at bed time - first time that's happened!

Progress after Fast Five

I decided that I would weight myself every Thursday.  Well, I've cheated and weighed myself this morning, (it's Saturday).
I'm pleased to report that since coming home from our hols I've lost 15lbs.  I've gone down through two sets of stones and I'm chuffed to bits.
Seeing the numbers on the scales decrease is really giving me a boost.  I just couldn't reach this point with Slimming World or with 'healthy eating'...  5-2 has, however, given me the boost I need, (I hope!).

Our new family member has made a huge difference too.  She's tiny, she's hairy, she's a dog called Roxy!  I am totally in love with her.  She's glorious and taking her for walkies is improving the health of the entire family!

I've only fasted once this week and I found it hard again.  It 'is' hard though!  Not as hard as 'dieting' 24 - 7 that's for sure but it still takes a lot not to eat when you feel famished!  I find that I'm OK until about 4.30 or 5 pm then I start to feel as though I really need to eat.  The problem with eating is that it makes you even hungrier!!!!!!  I say 'problem' it's not a problem.  It's a challenge but it's one that can be overcome.  If I can do this anyone can do it - that simple.    I am also starting to find that none fast days are no longer all about food.  I am happier, certainly healthier, lighter and looking forward to the future.  Bring it on!!!!!!!!

We are going camping this weekend so I don't think I'll be doing another fast day this week which is a shame.  I left it too late for the first fast, (Thursday) and now I've kind of ran out of days!!!  Unless today is a fast day.............  we are going to be busy so I might just go for it!

Fast number Three

I feel as though I was putting off fasting for most of this week.  I 'thought about' doing it on Tuesday but didn't, so I decided to do it yesterday.  I find it works better if I don't plan it!  Once half ten arrives, if I've not had breakfast then that's it - fast day sorted!!!

I found yesterday really tricky for some reason.  I was hungry when I woke up and the feeling never really left me.  It's not the hunger that's the problem though it's just the feeling of wanting to CHEW something!!!!!!

I met some buddies yesterday morning for a dog walk which was great, (our new dog = my exercise machine, loving it!  I've never walked so much and the kids are feeling the benefit too - all good!).
Sadly, I totally forgot that I was fasting and downed a carton of apple juice.  I know, what a total and utter waste of calories!  It's not like it was nice Copella either, it was Tesco value!  I was gutted when I realised that I could have eaten a chicken breast instead of swallowing the sticky warm apple juice!

Never mind!

The day progressed and I got more and more agitated and wanted something to eat so I had a tub of pease pudding which is really light in calories, two boiled eggs and a couple of small organes.  I'm not sure if I went over 500 cals or not but it didn't feel like it!

I was glad when it was bed time but I really didn't sleep very well and, as on other post fast days I woke at about 5.30 ready for the day.

I've had eggs for brekkie with a slice of toast and the thought of having anything else makes me feel a bit ill so I hope today's going to be a good day where food's concerned.

I ate A LOT last week in between fast days, and not good food either but my mind gave itself a kicking after I spent a bit of time looking at the lovely fashions on PInterest.  I WILL be slimmer and I WILL go to the ball!!!!

The dog is the best thing to have happened to this family since Annie was born.  She's a jack russell puppy - a bundle of fun and love.  She's helping to keep us healthy and active and she's showing us how to fall in love again because she's just magical.

I didn't weigh myself before fasting last week but I did weigh myself yesterday so this time next week I'll know if I've lost anything or not.

I'm Still Alive!!!!

I was quite glad when bedtime finally arrived last night.
I felt famished after eating the noodles.
Sadly, we had nothing else in the house!  I'm definitely going to go down the chicken salad route next time!  With an egg on top!!!!
I'm so glad that I did it.

Today feels kind of liberating.  I've had toast with 'best better' and honey and a lovely cup of coffee HOWEVER, I've not gone overboard with the butter - just didn't see the need, and haven't put any sugar in my coffee, just the usual semi skimmed milk.
I'm not saying to myself, 'I'm on a diet and must be careful' I'm just having what I want.
I recognise that I can eat WHAT I want, but not HOW MUCH I want, so if I have two huge bars of chocolate every day I'm not going to lose weight - what's the point in a day of fasting for no weight loss and possible weight gain?

I feel good.  I feel like I'm doing 'something'.  I'm looking forward to the next fast day as I like the challenge!

The sun is shining so for the sake of my health and the health of my children we're going to be going for a lovely walk by the river.  I can't wait until it feels easy and good to walk out wearing light summer clothes instead of the usual trousers, T Shirt and cover up shirt on top!  Bring it on!!!!

Half way to Heaven

I'm half way through my first fast day and I feel OK.

I'm working, which is good as it means my hands are busy.  I do find that I can think about other things whilst working so, shock horror, the majority of my spare brain space is taken up by food. 

This isn't a problem - when ever I try to lose weight ALL I think about is food so thinking about it whilst fasting is no biggie!

I've been up since 8.30, (major lie in for us...  not sure how that happened!) and it's now 12.36. I am hungry but it's not manifesting in stomach rumbling, it's more wanting to put something in my mouth!!!!  (now here, less of that snickering in the back row!).  It's not that I want to fill my belly, it's that I want to chew something!  Again, this isn't a new feeling.  In the past, when I've done Slimming World, I've felt like this all day long and filled my mouth and my belly with aspartame laden yogurts and chemical enhanced snack pots.  I'm happier eating nothing and most certainly healthier!  

I am going to have a meal at about 5pm so that's only another 4 and a half hours to go, (hence, half way update!).  Once 5 o.'clock arrives I might decide to eat later than that; we shall see.  500 calories is substantial which is good.  After I've eaten I'm going to put some bread in the bread maker for tomorrow and wallow in the self satisfaction that comes from sticking to ones plans and not spending the day eating biscuits and toast, (a usual work day for me....  I don't feel as though I have time to cook things and Mark's usually out with the children while I work so I munch on biscuits and make lots of rounds of toast.  Depressing eh). 

Back to the sewing machine, coffee and sugar free juice.  

So it Begins.............

So, today it begins; fast number one. 

As a morbidly obese mum of three, I know that I need to change my diet and life style or, like my mother and grandmother before me I probably won't live past the age of 63.  I'm 37 now, (hang on while I work it out - do you forget how old you are or is it just me?) and I've only spent about 1 year of my 37 in the 'healthy weight range'. 

I've tried Slimming World, Weight Watchers and Rosemary Conley.  Rosemary and my impending wedding saved me for a while but after having my first child I went into diet rebound mode and ate my way to oblivion.  Two children later and the death of my mother made food my sanctuary, my crutch and ultimately, my worst enemy. 

I hate being over weight yet every day I make choices to keep my body wobbly and my heart working at a ridiculous rate i.e.  I chose to eat 'crap' - biscuits, cakes, chocolate; all the feel good in the mouth stuff.  Going upstairs is daunting as I hate feeling of physical stress on my body.  Being with other people is difficult as I'm self conscious about my frumpy clothes and I know anything that I'd like to wear will just look ridiculous.  A a size 30/32 vintage full circle dress???  I would be able to host a circus under the skirt for goodness sake - no, not good.  

'Fay, do you want a coffee'

'A black coffee please, no milk and no sugar'

....  yes, the day has begun.  

It's 8.57am and I'm feeling positive.  I'm not 'expecting' to fail or to want to eat anything that will sabotage my efforts to live a longer, healthier life free from Diabetes and Alzheimer's.  I am expecting to make it through the day feeling good, feeling positive and probably feeling rather hungry.  Am I going to eat my 500 cals this evening or not?  Who knows...  if I do they will be constituted of two dippy eggs and a bit of toast.  I couldn't eat eggs for a while.  The thought of them being made by the chickens in my back garden just freaked me out and I was repulsed by their slimy yellow unmade baby insides but now I just love them!  I can be thinking, 'this is a chickens menstrual cycle' whilst dipping my toast in a not even flinch.  I'm so glad! 

We were on holiday last week.  The day before we went away my family and I met a wonderful friend at a local farm.  I had two lattes, a caramel shortbread and a bit of ginger biscuit before heading to my dad's house for fish and chips.  Whilst scoffing the caramel shortbread my friend told me about the 5 2 diet.  I thought she was off her rocker....  eat what you want for five days then starve for two days EVERY week?  Are you mad?  Doesn't it hurt you???  What's the point in this new fad?  Why not just eat healthy ALL of the time and have a little bit of what you fancy???

Well, first of all, how many mornings have I woken up thinking, 'today I will eat healthily.  I will not over eat,  I will copy the rabbits and the sheep and eat lots of green things'...  FAIL.  That hasn't happened for a Longggggg time....  1 year out of 37 as a 'healthy weight' is proof of that.  

I needed a bit of convincing about this 'new fad' so I watched the TV program aired last August. 

I saw it on line here...HERE

Then I joined the forum here....  HERE

... and so it begins. 

Wish me luck!